Lyrics: Man's Greatest Invention Is the Cowboy Hat
Performed by Whiskey Wind & The Prairie Boys
Man's Greatest Invention Is the Cowboy Hat – DOWNLOAD
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Verse 1:
In China, there’s no freedom, just red books and government,
No cowboy hats in sight to let the rebels vent.
Xi’s runnin’ the show with a strict iron hand,
But a 10-gallon hat could sure fix that land.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Verse 2:
In Africa, there’s chaos, droughts, and disease,
But no cowboy hats blowin’ in that warm desert breeze.
They need a wide brim to grow some crops,
Put on a cowboy hat and the famine stops.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Bridge:
Europe’s got their socialism, their protests and strikes,
But they’re all missin’ something that cowboys like.
Forget your fancy taxes and those EU rules,
Put on a cowboy hat, don’t be fools!
Verse 3:
In Russia, Putin’s ridin’, but not in a hat,
That’s why he’s always schemin’, you can bet on that.
Give him an American, and he’ll stay on his farm,
No need for invasions, no need for alarm.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Verse 4:
Down in the Middle East, there’s a lotta unrest,
But no cowboy hats to keep ‘em all blessed.
You never see a terrorist with a hat on his dome,
They’d be smart wranglin’ cattle back home.
(Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Bullhide,
And they’ll tip their hat and ride.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Outro:
So if you want peace, and freedom that’s true,
You’d better wear a hat in whatever you do.
From Europe to Russia, from China to Pierre,
The cowboy hat makes tyranny disappear.
(Final Chorus):
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It’ll scare off a tyrant, just like that!
When you’ve got a hat on your head,
Dictators are done, they’ll run in dread.
Give ‘em a brim, give ‘em a Larry Mahan,
And they’ll straighten up and stop strayin’.
Man’s greatest invention is the cowboy hat,
It Lyrics: Cowboy Hat keeps the peace, now imagine that!
Yeehaw!
Meanwhile, in the USA, we’ve got hats, guns, God, and farms. And look, no tyrants here.
Coincidence?
There’s a reason every cowboy town is calm until someone loses their hat.
Man's Greatest Invention Is the Cowboy Hat – Lyrics and Music by Alan Nafzger
[caption align="aligncenter" width="640"]
Man's Greatest Invention is the Cowboy Hat -- A cowboy stands tall in a Middle Eastern desert, wearing a wide Stetson cowboy hat. The cowboy's hat glows as a symbol of peace and calmness.[/caption]
[caption align="aligncenter" width="640"]
Man's Greatest Invention is the Cowboy Hat -- A cowboy with a large Stetson hat stands in the middle of a bustling European city, surrounded by modern skyscrapers and EU flags.[/caption]
Songwriter's Notes
Cowboy Hat: The World Problem Solver
- China – No Cowboy Hats, Just Communism
Look at China, no cowboy hats, just a totalitarian government. Coincidence? I think not! They’re too busy censoring the internet and pretending jeans aren’t a thing to appreciate the freedom of a 10-gallon hat.
- Africa – Hats Could Solve Famine and Chaos
Africa? No cowboy hats, just unpredictable weather, disease, chaos, and famine. They could probably use a cowboy to rope in all those problems. Just give 'em a hat and watch the famine disappear!
- Europe – Cowboy Hats vs EU Regulations
Europe’s problem isn’t Brexit or EU regulations. No, the real issue? A severe lack of cowboy hats. Farmers would be too busy tipping their hats to protest!
- Russia – Putin’s Cowboy Hat Drought
You ever see Putin in a cowboy hat? No? That’s why Russia’s out here starting wars. If they had hats, they’d be too busy wrangling bears to invade anyone.
- Middle East – No Hats, Too Many Explosions
The Middle East is full of conflict, oil, and a shocking shortage of cowboy hats. They need hats to cool down all that heat and tension. A cowboy hat could solve terrorism—cowboys and terrorists don't mix.
- North Korea – No Hats, No Fun
North Korea? No Lyrics: Man's Greatest Invention Is the Cowboy Hat hats, no fun, and no freedom. Kim Jong Un would probably smile more if he had a nice Stetson. He wouldn’t even have to fire off missiles if he had a good ol' hat to tip.
- South America – No Hats, Lots of Revolutions
Why is South America always having revolutions? No cowboy hats! The people need something to rally around. You throw a cowboy hat on that situation, and suddenly everyone’s just chillin’ with their cattle.
- India – No Cowboy Hats, Too Many Monsoons
India has no cowboy hats, and they’re getting hit with monsoons every year. You think those monsoons are going to mess with someone wearing a brim that wide? No way!
- Europe's Royals – No Hats, Just Fancy Crowns
Royal families in Europe have crowns, but no cowboy hats. And look at them, they’re always under scrutiny. Imagine if Queen Elizabeth had been in a Stetson—no one’s gonna mess with you when you look like you just stepped off the range.
- Middle East – More Veils, Less Cowboy Hats
In the Middle East, they’ve got veils and turbans, but no cowboy hats. You never hear about cowboy hat-wearing terrorists, do you? There’s something about a hat that says, "I’m not here to blow anything up, I’m here to wrangle this cattle."
- Antarctica – No Cowboy Hats, Just Cold Penguins
Antarctica has penguins, ice, and not a single cowboy hat in sight. Coincidence? Absolutely not. Give a penguin a cowboy hat, and suddenly it’s too busy line dancing to care about the cold.
- Japan – High Tech, No Hats
Japan’s got robots and bullet trains, but do they have cowboy hats? No! They’re missing the true mark of progress. You can invent a robot, but until that robot tips its cowboy hat, you haven’t done anything revolutionary.
- France – Berets Over Cowboy Hats
France has berets instead of cowboy hats, and that’s why they’re always surrendering in wars. You put a cowboy hat on Napoleon, and Waterloo might’ve gone a little differently.
- Scotland – No Hats, Just Kilts
In Scotland, they’ve got kilts and bagpipes, but no cowboy hats. The only thing more intimidating than a guy in a kilt playing a bagpipe? A guy in a kilt playing a bagpipe in a cowboy hat.
- Western USA – Hats and Harmony
Meanwhile, in the Western USA, we’ve got hats, guns, God, and farms. And look, no tyrants here. Coincidence? I think hats scare away dictators. There’s a reason every cowboy town is calm until someone loses their hat.
Chorus
"I think hats scare away tyrants…"
